Cootie Control: Bad Haiku

Though we've had cases

Of various flus in school

We've managed okay.

For minimal contact....

Season of high fives is gone

Air fives are better.

If you blow your nose,

Put tissue in trash near door

Not near my desk please.

Our classroom has hope...

Sanitizers dispensers

Keep cooties away.

Oh Saint Camillus

Our patron saint of the sick

Pray for us....Achooooo.

*

Want to giggle? Read this by Ellen.

Laura Fetters 2009

No Homework? Drop and Give Me 20

I heard a coach screaming at his team of middle school girls last weekend.

I mean screeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaming.

And, the parents of those children were sitting comfortably in the bleachers socializing; no one was outraged.

No one stood up in the stands and walked over to the coach and said, "Don't talk to the girls that way. They're only 13."

No one wants to offend the coach.

The other day one of my students didn't have her homework for the second time in a week.

I said, "What's going on?"

Her mother told me that her daughter said I yelled at her.

Yelled?

At best it was a library voice.

I would be willing to bet that this child (who happens to be a very good athlete) does not mind being questioned or corrected by her coach during a basketball game.

That's different.

Or is it?

***

How is a correction on the basketball court considered to be character building, but a correction in the classroom is considered to be self esteem crushing?

The coach doesn't want you to be late.

Guess what? Neither does your teacher.

The coach wants you to listen to his plays and advice without interrupting.

Guess what? So does your teacher.

The coach wants you to understand that discipline and focus are essential to success.

And no surprise here- so does your teacher.

The coach just wants you to learn how to be better.

Well.....your teacher wants that too.

I'm just sayin'.

Christmas Fa-la-la Preparation...Makes My Monday

I get it.

For some people, thinking about Christmas before Thanksgiving

is way too hard on the

brain, the heart, and the wallet.

But as soon as I begin to see Christmas decorations in stores, I feel

secretly gleeful (even though I hear others voice their disdain.)

Every year around this time, it is like I have

been sniffing "Get Merry Manic Glue."

Then, I begin checking things off my preparations list.

*

This year we (along with my parents) are sponsoring

a family for Christmas and

I finished all of the shopping for that family this past weekend.

Next week, we will wrap the presents and set a date

for mid-December to

deliver them to their house and to visit

with them for a while.I am quite excited!

I met the family a few weeks ago; I immediately connected

with the parents and I adored the 3 children.

*

The annual cookie exchange is how I make merry with my

high school friends, and we have

been participating in this tomfoolery for about

25 years now.

I've chosen the plates I will use, the cookies I

will distribute, and I

know how I will fancy-up my presentation

so that no one will know/care that I make

my baked offerings from a mix.

(Throw in enough butter, vanilla, and M&M's and no one's the wiser.)

Hey- don't judge me.

*

Since we have 22 nieces and nephews on my side,

we don't buy individual gifts for them anymore.

Instead, we buy a DVD for each family

and create a little

movie night gift set- complete with bad-for-you candy.

Movies (check)

Candy (Mostly check)

Popcorn bowls as gift containers (check)

*

And...

St. Nicholas Day is coming.

(December 6th)

This is the day where I leave holy cards and

candy in my students' lockers, leave candy

in my husband's shoes, and drop off small gifts on the front steps of

my parents' and my friends' houses.

Holy cards (check)

Some candy and gifts (check)

As annoying as it may be to some,

I LOVE preparing for Christmas early.

In this way, during December I can hum along to the music,

look at all the decorations, find some peaceful advent moments, and

drive by the crowded malls without having to stop.

(Okay...even when I plan ahead like a fuss bucket, I always end up

having to do last minute shopping if the real truth be told.)

All this and visions of sugarplums....Make My Monday.

Visit Cheryl for more Makes My Monday delights..

Mary's List

I always knew Mom had The List because she would make a reference to her prayers every now and then and would ask if it would be okay to add someone to her List whenever she would hear of friend's hardships or personal challenges. She has consistently been faithful to this prayer list as the years have gone by. Interestingly Mom's special prayer time has always been in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep. Even when she has been ill, she has risen from her bed in the middle of her repose to recite these prayers while the rest of the world slumbers away.

For a long time, I thought she was speaking figuratively of a "List" that she kept in her head. Later, I learned that she actually had a typed list of prayers.

I had a feeling The List was long, but I didn't know how extensive and involved it was until this past summer when she was hospitalized for a kidney stone complication.

While she was sleeping, I was fussing around in the hospital room and straightening up some books and magazines.

That's when I saw the thick packet on the vent.

It was The List.

I had thought that The List would be much like a running tab of items and simply have our names in a column with perhaps a lovely prayer at the top for our overall well-being.

No.

This List is pages and pages long.

First, the families of her children are grouped together. Next, following the names of each of her offspring, their spouses, and their children, are specific prayer requests with regard to health, careers, studies, world-views, and relationships.

Wait there's more.

If you are a close friend of that family, then your name is probably on the list too.
If you are a supportive co-worker to one of her family members, your name might be on The List.

If you are a family friend and you have been in trouble, suffered loss, or have gone through a rough patch, you have probably been on The List for at least a while until your life becomes better.

In-laws, neighbors, priests, and students have been on The List.

Even if you have been rotten to one of her loved-ones, she may have you on the list so that you will stop being rotten.

Her faith is inspiring.

***

After her hospital stay this past summer, I was chatting with one of the older nephews about Mom and her faith.

He talked about what an amazing person she is and then he said to me in hushed tones,

"Have you seen her prayer list?"

"I saw it in the hospital," I answered.

"Me too,"he whispered," that thing is pages long."

"That's Grandmom."

"Yes, it is."

And we both nodded- knowing full well how loved we feel just being a part of her life and

....a part of The List.

Bad Haiku: Christmas Wishes

Christmas time when young...

Stared at Sears ads with dreams of

Easy-bake ovens

Conference Update

My teacher conferences went splendidly.

Lots of great conversations.

One mom even brought me some pie.

Parents bringing pie offerings-

This is a first for me....and quite a tasty one too.

Veterans Day: From France to the Pacific During WWII

For Veterans Day...

The following is a letter from my Great Uncle Dick, serving during WWII, to my father (Bill) on the battleship New Mexico.

Somewhere in France

July 30th 1944

Dear Bill,

Your welcome letter received and glad to hear you don't think it's so awful serving your country. You'll remember the 6 weeks at Bainbridge more than the rest of the training you receive. I know mine at Fort Eustis stands out the most. Can't say much about the navy for I don't know much, but with the army I found out after leaving the training center that the outfits you join do just the opposite from what you were taught. One thing you can be glad of is that your life in the Navy will be cleaner than what we have in the Army, for you'll not have the field work we do.

You'll find out later that you won't have much time for letter writing, the spare time will be spent getting ready for inspections. We had them all the time in England and expect them in France, they help keep you on the ball. I'm glad that the fellows are around your age and that your buddy stays with you. Grandmother received your cards. Sounds like you have been busy.

She has been down to Ocean City (N.J.) for a week and do you know she's mad because of the large number of surf boards? It keeps her from going out so far in the water...afraid they will knock her down. What a woman.

You asked how things were in England. I can't say, for I haven't been there for awhile. It was darn cold there compared to France. We have been here since D-Day plus a month. There is not much I am allowed to say.We did hear the big guns when we first arrived, but with the way things are dying down- not much.

They are on the move.

Enclosed is a franc note, the kind of money used by us since invasion time. They are made in Philly. It's worth 10 cents.

Well, fellow, write when you get the chance.

Best of luck and God Bless You,

Your Loving Uncle Dick

The Curious Case of a Couple's Secret Language

BLANCHE: You wouldn't be able to do

these awful things to me if I weren't still in this chair.

EVIL JANE: But ya are, Blanche. Ya are in that chair.

**

Because of this old, creepy movie, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane,

"Blanche" responses run rampant in our home.
You may ask, "What is a BLANCHE response? "

Me: Oh dag, I meant to buy paper towels at the store.
Matt the Hot Husband: But ya didn't, Blanche.

Matt the Hot Husband: I was supposed to go to the board meeting.
Me: But ya didn't Blanche.

Me: I wanted to go to the gym after school.
Matt the Hot Husband: But ya didn't, Blanche

Matt the Hot Husband: I was gonna do laundry.
Me: But ya didn't, Blanche.

Some married couples might do the baby talk thing
when communicating-
....some wives and husbands might call each other "Pumpkin,"
and still others might throw raisins at each other to make a point.

Us?
We mock a nutty 70-something woman who dresses up in a little
girl's outfit and terrorizes her sister.

Is that so wrong?

Crazy Sunday Weather and Packages Make My Monday

Sunday in DC was spectacular. Light breezes and sunshine all day.

After Mass, we decided to stroll down to the

Museum of American History

to see what they know.

*

This Revolutionary War soldier (below) greeted us at the beginning

of the military history display.

I think he was out of rum

and not too happy about it.

*
As always, I like to take a peek at the ruby slippers.

Yes, they look the same every time I see them.

I'm just keepin' the Oz magic alive.

*

We decided to jay walk and see where this tunnel leads.

Who knew?

There is a Woodrow Wilson Plaza on the other side.

I've only lived here 47 years.....how should I know?

(That's Matt the Hot Husband strolling ahead.)

*

After we returned home and evening set in, I realized I never picked up yesterday's mail.

Hello?

What can make a girl happy when she's already happy?

New boots.

Thank you DSW.

Lovely weekend outings and new boots.....

Make My Monday.

And you?

Visit Cheryl for more.

Achooo.... Bad Haiku

She coughs...He shudders.

He blows his nose....She winces.

Swine flu suspicions.

On Homelessness

I am a member of a social justice ministry group called Just Faith.

In summary, we read books, watch videos, pray about, and discuss at length issues of poverty, human rights, and faithful citizenship. Recently, one of our meetings specifically focused on the struggles of the homeless and we were fortunate enough to have a 53 year-0ld man, George, as our speaker on the subject.

This is his story.

George grew up in foster care homes. By the time he was 16, he had bounced from one home to another and never found one in which he could remain for any significant amount of time. School was never a happy place for him either because he did not do well in his classes and he was also a behavior problem. As a result, George was expelled from high school at 16. The foster care system did not want to deal with him anymore so they suggested he request emancipation. Since George didn't really understand what emancipation meant (except he would be the boss of himself), he requested it. Emancipation was granted and George began what would be a thirty year era of life on the streets. He hitchhiked, begged, and slept wherever he could.

Eventually, mental illness seeped in and he couldn't quite remember from year to year how he lived or managed to survive.

Life changed about 7 years ago.

One moment.

One woman.

One act of kindness.

George was on the street in Washington, DC and a lady stopped and asked if she could help him.

At first he was reluctant.

He had been to shelters before. Shelters were loud and scary. Other homeless people paced the floors at night and tried to steal the few items you owned. He did not want to go to a shelter.

The lady, however, was asking him to come have coffee with her at a building called

Friendship Place. Friendship Place has a center where folks who are homeless can have a cup of coffee and if desired, meet with a case worker for assistance. Eventually, George found help at the center and created a network of support that has taken him off the streets. Medicine, social security, and counseling have all been provided to George and made him a success story. Currently, he lives in an apartment in DC and spends much of his time studying for his G.E.D. and speaking all over the country about homelessness issues.

***

I asked George, "If you could advise well-meaning people to do one specific thing when they encounter homeless people, what would it be?"

George replied slowly and deliberately, "Look at them. Say hi. Ask them their names. Make a connection."

He went on to explain that the isolation is the most damaging component to homelessness and that isolation quickly leads to depression and paranoia in many.

He mentioned other items that a homeless person might appreciate...a granola bar, a piece of fruit, or a pair of socks.

Then George challenged us by saying,

"You want to know what a homeless person needs?

Walk up and ask him."

The Teacher Gift Question

With Christmas coming...I have had requests concerning teacher presents.

This post is about end-of the-year presents and thank you notes but some of you may find some value in it if you've never read this before.

Read on....

In response to your questions about teacher presents....

A thoughtful thank you note.

That is the best teacher gift.

If a teacher has helped to make your child's year better...

If a teacher has taught your child new ways to look at the world through books, writing, stories, songs, or history...

If a teacher spent extra time with your child..

If a teacher bent the rules a little for your child because he/she saw the big picture...

If a teacher strengthened your child's faith in God...

If a teacher showed your child how to be a better friend...

If a teacher raised the bar just enough to help your child achieve greater goals..

If a teacher helped your child to recognize hidden talents..

If a teacher encouraged your child to know the value of hard work...

If a teacher helped your child to like school...

If a teacher guided your child through a rough patch...

If a teacher provided opportunities for your child to shine...

If a teacher did a fine job of teaching your child how to write, to read, to do word problems, to complete a science lab, to pray a novena, to analyze a doctrine, or to play Canadian doubles...

If a teacher worked hard all year to be a good teacher to your child....

tell the teacher in a hand-written note.

The note doesn't have to be long or be carefully worded.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Thank you for the wonderful job you have done teaching John math this year. He has shown great improvement in all areas of problem solving thanks to you. We appreciate all of your hard work.

Have a terrific, relaxing summer.

Sincerely,

The Parker Family

Simple, sweet, and thoughtful.

***

For some of you, I know this is not enough.

You want to give another kind of present as well.

I will not disappoint.

After much thinking , here is a list of some of my favorite teacher gifts (besides the beloved letters of appreciation). NOTE: These are gifts that were given to me that I very much enjoyed.

Every teacher is different so this is not a suggestion list...but perhaps you may find an idea which you like that suits your teacher.

1. A beach bag with a 2 liter bottle of soda, flip flops, chips, and a People magazine. ( I LOVED this.)

2. A fair trade change purse

3. Fair trade coffee

4. A bottle of wine (a very funny note was attached to this). From this particular parent the gift was very amusing and heartfelt. It had been a hard year for both of us.

5. A large supply of colorful markers for my classroom white board (Because the student heard me moan and groan all year about not having enough.)

6. Certificate to the movies/restaurant.

7. Starbucks gift card.

8. Books- collections of poetry/ favorite authors/ favorite genres/travel books/gift card

9. Art made by students....crosses, dishes, paintings

10. Schoolhouse Rock magnets (Because the student knew I love to sing those songs.)

11. A clock with a big smile on it. (Because I called the student "Smiling Jack" all year.

12. A handmade Burger King gift certificate (Because the student knew I LOVED Burger King.)

Any gift that brings a personal message of appreciation and thoughtfulness is a good gift.

However, I still wholeheartedly submit that taking an hour one evening with your child to write end-of-the-year thank you notes/cards to give to teachers would be wonderful for your teachers, wonderful for your child, and wonderful for your wallets.

(You can always tape some chocolate to the envelope if you so desire.)

Did I forget to mention chocolate?

How silly of me.

Great suggestions from comment box.....

From Aimee - a donation to a worthy cause in the teacher's name

From Terra- a photo album/scrapbook of the year

From Emily- a pedicure certificate OR a child's favorite book to be added to the class library!

From Elizabeth- a Mass said for the teacher. (wow)

Relics

For All Saints Day my church displayed its holy relics collection on the side of the altar.

I've never really quite known where to put this part of my church's tradition.

I do respect these relics;however, at the same time they can leave me feeling uncomfortable.

To stand in front of nearly 20 objects that were used by or were part of

some of the holiest people that ever lived... is most definitely awe-inspiring.

But, there is the other component here.

Frankly, the strand of hair or the piece of bone from a dead person

has a tendency to make me a little queasy.

Relics that are pieces of garments or splinters of wood

are much more agreeable to my comfort level.

Relics are part of the fascinating history of Catholicism.

I know that family members have passed down relics through the generations,

but I don't necessarily see myself

ever requesting possession of those.

*

Grandmother's teacups? That's another story.

Weekend Views: Make My Monday

A Good View Makes My Monday...

This view of my niece showing her support of her brother's amazing high school soccer team.

**

This view of George Washington Parkway along the Potomac River; we enjoy these picturesque sights every Sunday on our ride to and from Mass in downtown DC.

**

This view of the DeMatha High School Stags kneeling in prayer

before their last game. (I happen to be a huge fan of #23)

Love it.

That makes My Monday.

What Makes Yours?

Caution: Fruit at the Bottom- Bad Haiku

Once in a great while

I clean out my school book bag

And find some old fruit.

Simple Teacher Gift Idea

Last year for Christmas one of my students gave me one charming little Christmas cheese knife tied with a ribbon to a package of festive Christmas cocktail napkins.

Simple.

Useful.

(Inexpensive)

Thoughtful.

Cute

What I Almost Did.....

I'm having a little teacher/parent challenge.

The challenge is about a low grade I gave to a student's project that was incomplete and showed minimal effort. The parents are not happy with the grade.

Eventually, in these situations the struggle becomes whether or not to allow the student to re-submit the project or to let the grade stand.

Other teachers involved with this particular student have chimed in with their professional opinions which, in summary, encourage me to allow the grade to stand.

So, what did I almost do?

I responded to one of my co-workers emails about the situation.

I spoke of stubborn behavior and battles that aren't worth the effort.

I also spoke of better ways to use my time.

As I proofread the email, I found a typo and quickly corrected it.

Then, just as I was about to hit "send," I noticed that the email address to which I was going to send the note was actually the email address of the parents.

Yes, the parents almost received my mini-rant email.

Thankfully, they did not receive it and this proves two things.

I must always-ALWAYS double check my email details before I press send and....

Jesus loves me.

All Pooped Out and Happy About It: Makes My Monday

Exhaustion.

Exhaustion that comes from a gleeful weekend with

wonderful college friends.

Exhaustion that comes from nights spent belly laughing

instead of sleeping.

Exhaustion that comes from endless conversations about

dining halls, dorm life,

and other delightful memories.

Pure, well-worth-it exhaustion.

Makes My Monday.

Visit Cheryl for more.

Bad Haiku: A Prehistoric Plus

Title: Going to My Reunion

What am I to wear?

(Geez....They didn't have this problem

Back in caveman days.)

A Chain Reaction

I wanted them to decorate the classroom with Halloween pictures.

I had intended to go the the dollar store and pick up some pumpkins, bats, and webs for the room to make the walls look fun and festive.

However, I didn't make the trip.

As a result, we used our homeroom time to make our own orange and black cut-outs of merry, oogie, and scary things to put on the wall.

When we had 15 minutes remaining and the students had run out of homemade decoration ideas, I suggested they make a paper chain for us to drape around the room.

Let me just say....

I think I've created a construction-paper beast.

The thing is taking over my classroom.

The paper chain has put them under a spell.

The beastly creation is never-ending, and whenever they have a chance to do so, they grab more strips of construction paper and add to its length.

In the morning.

In the afternoon.

During study period.

"Let's put it up now," I say.

"We aren't done," they say.

And so it grows....

And, if by chance you can't find me oneday, it may be because I am trapped underneath an orange and black construction paper mountain.

Please dig me out.

*

Life Lesson: When reaching for an idea to fill some time with young people,

be very, very careful what you suggest.

Where the Wild Things Are: Okay, I Guess.

It's not that I hated the movie.

I just didn't like it very much.

In my mind Max is supposed to be a very small boy whose so called "terrible" behavior springs from a need to run, to jump, to play, and to imagine.

In the movie, the boy is about 9 and his behavior seems to be a reaction to his sister's casual dismissal of him and his mother's decision to date. The 9 year old actually bites his mother in one scene.

Seeing an older child bite his mother is unsettling to say the least.

As an observer, you are just hoping someone quickly takes the animal suit off him and scoots him away to therapy ASAP.
The screenwriters who adapted the book decided, I suppose, that the story needed more depth.

Why?

It's a story for 4 year olds.

However, I would not take my 4 year old nephew to see this film.

Though the wild things' costumes are brilliantly similar to the book, many of the wild things themselves seem a bit mentally disturbed, paranoid, or depressed.

The movie ends with some similarities to the book for the most part- but the fim is missing the overall charm that puncuates the final page of the book.

In the book, Max acts wild, goes to the where the other wild things play, and returns home tired and hungry- happy to have his hot soup waiting for him.

Innocent, cute young stuff.

I guess the film makers need to "keep it real" now?

Eh.

Innocent and cute is better.

I'm just sayin.

Makes My Monday This and That

I'm a busy girl this week but life is good, and my Monday is being made because.....

Today I reserved a Segway tour for Matt-the-hot-husband and me when we take our trip to Madrid in the spring. Habla espanol?
*

Friday I will be spending an evening out with my college friends for our 25 year reunion.

We have not been together as a group in 20 or so years. Memories will be made and I am quite sure I will laugh until my head hurts.
*

My book club (We call it our book coven.) is reading this book The Help. I thought I was going to loathe it, and I was already thinking of excuses I could make up for why I wouldn't be able to finish the 450 pages. However, I LOVE the plot....charming, interesting, and thought-provoking.
*

My BFF's and I are in the middle of scheduling our annual Christmas cookie exchange and I am extremely psyched about the holiday plates on which my cookies will be distributed.
As usual, I am more excited about the packaging than the cookies.
I love preparing for Christmas.
*
and finally....



I am still grinning from the meeting I had with Kim from the blog It's a Dog and Pony Show.
She (along with her friend, Martha) and I met at an Irish pub in Arlington, Virginia where we chatted, chortled, and sipped adult beverages for a couple of hours.
Quite delightful to meet a blog friend in the flesh.



Bunch of little good things....Makes My Monday.
Hope yours is a good one too.

Visit Cheryl for more.

Swine Flu or Stomach Flu 2009 Secret- For the Desperate and Twisted

What worked this past winter with "stomach flu" will work with "swine flu."

Want more blog hits?

Write "stomach flu" (now swine flu) in your post title.

People will come.

Not sure how to fit it in?

C'mon you can make it work with any of your topics....watch me.

Stomach Flu (Swine Flu) is What You Won't Get When You Try This Chili Recipe

Stomach Flu (Swine Flu) Rhymes With Blue- Blue is the Color of My New Car!

Stomach Flu (Swine Flu) Has an S and an F! And So Does Saint Francis- My Favorite Saint.

Stomach Flu (Swine Flu) Would Be Better Than Having to Find a New Nanny

Sorry you're not feeling well, stomach flu (Swine Flu) people, but I welcome you to my blog post which, unfortunately, won't help you whatsoever.

Try ginger ale and oyster crackers.

May not take away what ails you, but it's a tasty combination.

Get well soon.

A Story to Give Pause to the New Drivers in Our Lives

I remember sitting in my high school speech class and hearing

a young man read from this selection for our assignment.

I've never forgotten it.

*

Please God, I'm Only 17 -

(the Dear Abby heartbreaker....written by John Berrio)
The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken the bus. But I was too cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom.

"Special favor," I pleaded.

"All the kids drive."
When the 2:50 bell rang, I threw all my books in the locker. I was free until 8:40 tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a car and being my own boss. Free!
It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast -- taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and having fun.

The last thing I remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow.

I heard the deafening crash and felt a terrible jolt.

Glass and steel flew everywhere.

My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream.
Suddenly I awakened; it was very quiet. A police officer was standing over me. Then I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything.
Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head! I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead!
Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks had to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this?

Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life?

Dad suddenly looked like an old man. He told the man in charge, "Yes, he is my son."
The funeral was a weird experience.

I saw all my relatives and friends walk toward the casket.

They passed by, one by one, and looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying.

A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as they walked away.
Please -- somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here! I can't bear to see my mom and dad so broken up. My grandparents are so racked with grief they can hardly walk. My brothers and sisters are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze, everybody. No one can believe this. And I can't believe it, either.
Please don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise if you give me one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. All I want is one more chance!
Please, God, I'm only 17!

Bad Haiku: Cold Weather Cravings

This new cold weather...

Makes me want fires, boots, quilts, and

CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS